the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
