i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
