My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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