every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
