"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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