Tell her she can't have a vagina
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
