If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
