Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
