i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
