either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
