I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
