We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
