Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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