Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
