apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
