I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
