lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got chris browned last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
