Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
