WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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