I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm too high and old for this...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
