so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
