wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
