Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
