I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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