She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
