Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
