Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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