we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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