Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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