he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't deserve a penis
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
