went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
