So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
