I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
