I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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