yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
