Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
