how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
