so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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