Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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