Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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