....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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