k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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