highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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