i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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