Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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