I hate all girls vehemently.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
