You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
