She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
