She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
