I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
