Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
